I have begun on a new journey in
life. For the past two years, statements about my career always ended in a
question mark. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I have done
something right, something my mother would be proud of. And every day before I put on my white coat
and head out my door, I wish my mother was here. Not for her to pat me on my
back, she never was one to praise us within our earshot, but just to let her
know I made it and it is because she believed in me.
My mother believed we were
capable of things we were absolutely sure we were not. At school we were those
children who participated in every competition that could have competitors
because she told us to. There were times when I used to feel embarrassed to
walk on stage for something I knew I would never win at, but went ahead doing it anyway. I was 13 and my sister was 15 when we were neck deep in
extra-curricular activities. Unfortunately for my sister, she was a part of a
dance routine at an interschool competition on the same day as an interschool
quiz competition. Most parents would have helped their children choose between
the two, my mother assured her we could find a way to do both.
As luck would have it, our dance
routine got over right on time. But even though my dad tried driving like a
maniac through traffic and my mother helped my sister change from her dance
costume to our school uniform at the back of our car, we were late. We arrived
at the Quiz competition venue and up on stage was my sister’s substitute
representing our school. My sister and I were disappointed. We huddled together
towards the back of the audience sharing her misery. My mother talked to our
Quiz teacher and she affirmed our fear – it was just too late, and the teacher really
didn’t care enough to stand up for my sister. My mother was not one to give up.
The Quiz master was still just explaining the rules. She walked right up to the
stage and in her broken English she explained to the quiz master that her
daughter was here and that she was the primary candidate for the school. She
explained like only a mother who believed in her daughter’s capabilities could,
that her daughter deserved to be a part of that competition. I remember wanting
for the floor to open up and swallow me because of the unwanted attention we
were getting. Everyone in the audience wanted to know what was going on. Our
quiz teacher didn’t utter a word, she didn’t even stand up from where she sat.
The quiz master told my sister to come up on stage and that she could
participate but he wouldn’t repeat the rules of the competition. I was in awe.
My sister won the competition.
The Quiz teacher and my sister were congratulated by many in the audience. I
stood right next to her basking in the attention of being a proud sister. The
quiz master walked up to us right before he left and said “Congratulations. You
did great. But remember this win is as much your mother’s as is yours. You
should be a really proud daughter.”
All the while when we were
driving back to the Dance competition venue I kept thinking about the Quiz
master’s words. Be a proud daughter. We won for the dance routine that day. It
was a good day. It was a good day because my mother made two right decisions.
She knew she didn’t have to choose - we were capable of winning at both and she
made the decision to fight for her daughter.
Repeating the words I have
already blogged which one of my friends wrote about my mother:
“… My mother always believed that your mother was one of the wisest
people that she has interacted with in her life. She would sometimes tell me -
"Do you know why they do so well? It’s only partially because of their own
caliber, but it's mostly because of Sujatha's strength as a person"….”
I don’t know if you knew all
along, Amma. I don’t know if you had doubts about me being able to make it or
not. But I believe you didn’t. I think you believed in me more than I believed
in myself. And I think you did put up a fight for me with the Big Guy up there.
I am a proud daughter of a mother
who will always remain my best advocate because she believes I can do it,
even when I don’t.
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